


Everything's not lost

by InnerCinema



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abuse of Norse mythology, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Frostiron Bang 2014, Hurt/Comfort, Kid!Tony Stark, M/M, Minor Character Death, Reincarnation, Tony is Wayland the Smith, adult!Tony Stark, love through time, young adult!Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerCinema/pseuds/InnerCinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>For the last time, he lifted his trembling hand to caress the jet-black strands that framed her sorrowful features. Hervör Alwitr… no, Loki was her name and the sole word that fled his lips with all the passion left in him. “Do not grieve, light of my life.” He swallowed hard. His lips became heavy as stone and his tongue went leaden but again, stubbornness won as he spoke his last words. “I shall return to your side.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After centuries of waiting, Wayland's soul finally returns in the form of Anthony Edward Stark. This should grant them their immediate happy ending but again, the norns seem to have other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the longest, actually finished piece of fanfiction I have written so far!  
> It has been a rocky road and I would have liked to flesh it out some more and edit it better (so please forgive me mistakes) but time was short and my English not as fluent as I thought it was.
> 
> Thus, I would like to thank my artist, the amazing [lo-kithe](http://lo-kithe.tumblr.com/) for his amazing[ artwork](http://lo-kithe.tumblr.com/post/100925542524/everythings-not-lost-by-auripigmentum-for-the) (also on [ dA](http://sidhrat.deviantart.com/gallery/51624408/Devious-Folder)), for his endless patience with me an the cheering during my darkest times of writer's block. Please check it out and and reblog, like or leave a comment! ♥
> 
> Secondly but not lastly, I would like to thank my beta and sun of my life [littlewolfoffenris](http://littlewolfoffenris.tumblr.com/) for reading, criticizing, cheering and most of all believing I could actually finish this thing. Fangirls 'til Ragnarök ♥ 
> 
> Many thanks and love to all those who encurage me to write and just do the thing! You know who you are ;)
> 
> And now, after lots and lots of talking: enjoy!

Wayland knew that his time had come and the Norns deemed his life shorter than he had ever thought or wished.

Lovely voices sang softly of promised halls where only heroes worth their tale were allowed to set foot in, of glittering feasts with endless mead and dishes so exquisite the Allfather himself would savor them, of epic battles for the sole joy of it. But above all, they sang of peace and eternal bliss. But how could that be ever possible when all he’d ever dreamt of knelt right next to him?

Worn out and tired to his very bones, he looked up into green eyes – the otherwise mischievously glittering emeralds now dull.

For the last time, he lifted his trembling hand to caress the jet-black strands that framed her sorrowful features. Hervör Alwitr… no, Loki was her name and the sole word that fled his lips with all the passion left in him. “Do not grieve, light of my life.” He swallowed hard. His lips became heavy as stone and his tongue went leaden but again, stubbornness won as he spoke his last words. “I shall return to your side.”

The flames around them blazed up as the Goddess of Chaos vowed her revenge. Nidud would not be able to relish his outrageous deed for long…

A mere shadow of his once bright smile was his last act in  this life. The voices faded once the mantle of solid resolution warmed him like a blanket in winter.

Valhalla could wait – he had a promise to keep.


	2. Call it magic

_ When I'm with you _

_ And I just got broken _

_ Broken into two _

_ Still I call it magic _

_ When I'm next to you _

“Magic” - Coldplay

 

Years, decades, centuries. Waiting was agony, waiting was pain but finally, waiting paid off. Loki knew when he saw him: brown eyes drinking in everything they saw, small feet stumbling through the seemingly endless corridors of the mansion but above all he saw small yet talented hands creating beauty out of chaos. Anthony Edward Stark.

This little mortal kid was every way just like his beloved blacksmith and not like him at all. Where Wayland had been patient and frugal, he was demanding and quick-tempered. It should not be said that the noble blacksmith had not been fierce and boisterous, but in comparison, Anthony was an all encompassing firestorm – or at least even at the tender age of six he already showed unmistakable signs to become a blazing star that would burn through any barrier in his way.

It was a late rainy November afternoon when the boy saw him for the first time. Loki had been in Alfheim for urgent business that his uncle only trusted him with and when he returned, he found his little ward sitting on a sidewalk under a street light far away from home curled up in a gloomy ball of misery. The street was empty, void of occupied houses and so no one could hear the small, hitched sobs coming from. It did not take Loki long to come to a decision.

“Hello, boy. What are you doing here?”

Anthony flinched visibly at the sound of his voice. “Where?” And oh, yes. He tried to dull the gold and green glow of his magic as well as possible as he became visible.

“Pardon me. For a moment I have been a bit absent minded…” he trailed off and watched the boy’s eyes widen even more at the comment. “But again: What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home at this time of day?”

“Are… are you my guardian angel?” was the sniffy reply at which the raven haired had to snort derisively.

“Please, those wings make them look like stupid chicken-hybrids. I am Loki of Asgard – god of Mischief, Lies, Fire and Chaos.”

“Oh… I am Anthony Stark without cool titles. But you can call me Tony, if you like.”

It was kind of cute and thus, Loki could not hold back a smile while nodding though he hated to repeat a question thrice. He already had to live through this procedure with Thor more often than not. “Why are you crying?”

Anthony immediately shook his head and recited: “Stark men don’t cry. We only have something in our eye.”

“Don’t lie to the God of Lies.” This seemed to do the trick though the rain was ruining his royal eyebrow game. A flick with his wrist and a large green umbrella was summoned, stunning his dialogue partner once more. “Well…?”

“Wow! How did you do that? This is so cool I…” one raised eyebrow made him pause and meekly get back on track. “I ran away from home and now I don’t know where I am anymore and then it started to rain and it got darker and I can’t find a phone to call Jarvis or Mommy…”

“Why did you run?” Loki had a pretty good guess why. He had never seen it happen himself but listening to the personnel had given him a pretty good picture of Tony’s parents.

“Uhm…” The boy broke eye contact and rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. “My… my dad doesn’t like me much.” realizing his confession, he immediately looked back up to the Trickster. “But please don’t tell him I told you that!”

Bingo. Loki shook his head and crouched next to him. “I promise I won’t.” The smile that was conjured by this oath made the god pause. Once again he was at the receiving end of this look full of trust and utter – this time childlike – adoration. Oh why did the Norns have to forbid his meddling? Why could he not take Anthony with him to protect the boy or at least use his magic to better his life? The mage already knew great consequences were bound to follow if he did so. Great deeds clung to the future of Anthony Edward Stark. As far as Loki knew, his life involved at least two fixed points in time.

“Well… How about I will get you back home later and now I will get you a hot beverage to warm you up?”After a bit of hesitation, the brunette nodded slowly – the prospect of warmth seemed to cheer him up. The Trickster gave a short nod in answer, gripped the boy’s shoulder softly and vanished them from this dreadful place in the open.

When he released him, Anthony opened his eyes and looked around with awe. Firstly: they were dry and secondly standing in an illuminated pavilion in the middle of a huge and empty park. It was not very far from their meeting point but the rain had become so strong, that their gazebo looked like a beacon in the middle of the sea.

“Wow! How did you do that?! It’s like…”

“Magic.” The boy chuckled and nodded but his amusement faded at the god’s earnest look and was easily replaced by even more awe.

“Really?” he exclaimed excitedly but pulled himself together right after. “But magic doesn’t exist! Dad says the only thing that’s real is science.”

“Then maybe I will believe him when he explains this to me…” Loki shrugged and with an incomprehensible murmur he let a blanket appear to wrap Anthony in it. He would not have believed it possible, but the latter’s eyes grew even larger at the sight and assessed him anew and more and more respect and reverence poured into his features.

“Can you make something to drink too? Something warm?”

The Trickster could nothing but smile at the eager look. “And what do you want?”

“Coffee!”

“Really?” Loki’s lips curled downwards in disgust.

“Mummy says it’s not good for children…”

“No, I mean its revolting taste.”

“No! With milk it’s totally yummy!”

The god just shook his head in disbelief eyes and conjured two steaming mugs. One with decaf and milk for his little ward and a hot chocolate with whipped cream for himself.

Watching the rain become less and less heavy, the talked – or rather: Loki let Anthony babble over his coffee and told a tale himself, when the mortal had run out of stories.

When the boy’s eyes got heavier and heavier and his head finally dropped on Loki’s arm, the god of Mischief spirited their mugs away and lifted the body cautiously into his arms. Tony immediately shifted into a more comfortable position and grabbed Loki’s collar, never disrupting his sleep. He was a bit lighter than anticipated – maybe because the sweater had made the boy look a bit chubbier than was true. The thought made him frown but then again, even if Howard Stark was a drunken ass not worthy of such a son there were still Maria Stark and this Edwin Jarvis. Even though they were helpless against the older Stark, they acted out their wholehearted love whenever possible. It was a reassurance, however small.

Loki teleported them to the sleeping boy’s bedroom where he magically changed him into his pajamas and tucked him into bed. For a few minutes, he just watched the even breathing before leaving the room and making his way unseen into Stark senior’s study.

Tony’s life was partly fixed in time but that didn’t mean he could not get back on Howard…

 

oOo

 

“Loki?” an, oh, so small voice rang through the corridors.

“I am here.” was the beseeching answer. The hand on his shoulder squeezed him sympathetically.

“I am sorry, brother. Father’s order was in effect as soon as I delivered the message.” A pause and another squeeze from the Thunderer followed his words. “You are never to return to the mortal’s life. or else there will be great punishment to follow your actions. He  _ will _ save Midgard one day. He is important.”

“I know.” The younger replied brokenly for entirely different reasons.


	3. Green eyes

_ And how could, anybody, deny you _

_ I came here with a load _

_ And it feels so much lighter now I met you _

_ And honey you should know _

_ That I could never go on without you _

“Green Eyes” - Coldplay

 

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, life hits you with the whole nine yards. Well… seeing your magical imaginary friend after a bit less than fourteen years could at least count as ten, perhaps eleven yards because his parent’s death on which everyone seemed to blame anything nowadays has long subsided to a dull ache. Nothing hallucination-inducing. Even his phase of drug-curiosity was long over. Hence, the gaping at the Norse God of Mischief who was sitting on his desk like he owned the place was actually justified, thank you very much.

“Punctuality is not your strong suit, huh?” Tony was still positioned in the entrance of his small workshop but now, after the initial shock he leaned on the doorframe, crossed his arms before his chest and looked at a god that should not even exist, even less ward off a chirping DUMMY with a long ruler.

“I have been indisposed.” Wow, great answer. Had this guy already been such a dick back then? “Could you please tell your little pet to cut it out? I’d hate to defenestrate it.”

“No you wouldn’t” The engineer smirked which was mirrored as soon as the raven haired looked up.

“No I wouldn’t, but people tell me I would profit of courteousness. – Though I still don’t see any advantages.”

What could you answer to that except for a shrug? “I’m still trying to figure out the perks myself so…” he trailed off and continues watching DUMMY successfully harassing a full grown battle mage for a few moments. “Okay, Dummy, leave the nice hallucination alone. Go back to your charging station and I promise to lubricate your joints later. No, don’t give me that look. Just… just go the- no, the other there. Yes. Yes, good boy!” He gave his bot an affectionate pat on his arm as he scuttled by and looked up just to see an amused smile plastered over the other guy’s face. “Stop laughing and start telling. Since when can bots see imaginary friends I thought I got over a decade or so? And then why exactly am  I seeing said imaginary friend?” Without letting the other out of sight he plopped down on his office chair, arms crossed again and his no-bullshit-face hopefully forceful enough on his features.

“Because there is no one else watching right now – and even if he were it would not matter.”

“Rhodey will be back in a few hours so –“ But he was stopped by a wave of hand.

“I’m not talking about your little friend. I don’t care if he sees me or not. Right now, any mortal could see me. And your pet, obviously.”

“So… this is you telling me you’re actually real and not just a spawn of my imagination?”

“Yes.”

“Oooookay. Let’s just say I don’t quite believe that one yet but… let’s imagine I am not going insane right now: Why are you here now?”

Loki shot him an incredulous look, which, okay the guy nailed it to look pissy and regal at once. “Because I have been indisposed up until now.”

“Yeah, twelve years kinda make this excuse sound a bit lame, you know?”

A huff of annoyance was the immediate reply. “People interfered with my return. They are occupied otherwise right now and I took the chance. Satisfied?”

“Nope, not really because it just sounds like a really fancy way of saying you had house arrest.” Wait, what? The god actually looked… embarrassed? No! Loki was impossible to embarrass! But this sure looked uncomfortable and that was just hilarious. “Really? Your Odin-daddy –“ Yes, he had listened back then and yes, he had done some research on Norse mythology whenever he had the time. ”- did not let you come out play?!”

“It just sounds ridiculous when you say it.”

“The fact itself is already too ridiculous to not sound ridiculous like… ever. Seriously.”

They stayed silent for a while after that. Loki looked anywhere but at Tony who, in turn, was unable to take his eyes off the other. He had always thought that his memory had played tricks with him but the guy was a looker. Not in a supernatural way like he had always suspected or even remembered, but in a sexiest-men-alive-first-place-five-years-in-a-row kind of way which was perhaps the more dangerous kind in the end.

Tony swallowed and tried to concentrate on more important things like… “What are you doing here all of a sudden?” Nope, this moss-green tunic did nothing to calm his thoughts and he definitely was afraid to let his eyes wander towards the leather pants and…

“And here I thought you would have missed me.” The teen’s eyes flew back to the smirk currently curling the Trickster’s lips. “The way you have always clung to my leg… Truly adorable, I must say.”

“Yeah, I know I’ve been an enchanting toddler but try again, will you?” He was proud of how he still sounded dry and a bit irritated despite being utterly giddy inside. Loki held his gaze and silence stretched. There was something in his eyes… regret maybe? No, it was something else, something he could not define but – “I wanted to see you.” The words seemed loud in this quiet room but it was the sincerity in the other’s voice that really threw him off.

“Oh…” Yeah, very eloquent and Loki, the dick, apparently thought so as well because there was the smirk again and the moment was gone. “You’re an ass.” He huffed out a laugh and scratched the back of his head to avert his gaze. “But I’m glad you’re back.”

 

oOo

 

After the initial shock that there was now a Norse deity sleeping on their couch, Rhodey took the whole addition-to-the-household thing like a champ. Damn, he even made pancakes! The good ones with chocolate chips inside… Rhodey was the best! Sadly, the whole thing encouraged him to think he was entitled answers now and that was… well… yeah…

“So you’re telling me that the guy on the couch is some Scandinavian god and the physical manifestation of some weird childhood imagination  and  he came back just to say hi because he’s nice like that?!”

“When you say it, it just sounds wrong.”

“No, it already sounded wrong when it came out of your mouth, Tones.” Rhodey waved the spatula in Tony’s general direction before turning his look away from the sweet, sizzling goodness in his frying pan. “Be honest with me: Did you go to a club without me last night – and I swear I won’t be offended that you didn’t call in – got so drunk someone spiked your drink, got high and went home with this random dude who allegedly  told you he was some Norwegian (“Norse.”) god?”

“No! Damn it, Rhodey! I didn’t go anywhere last night!” Slowly, no, scratch that: quickly, he was getting irritated. “He just popped out of nowhere yesterday afternoon and graced my workshop desk with his amazing ass.” Before he could ramble on further about the beauty of this divine rear end, his friend shot him a telling look. “No! We didn’t do a thing! Really! We just… talked and then he got tired and since we don’t have a guest room, he took the couch. And stop making that face at me, Rhodes! You’re an ass!” Nope, he did not pout. He really did not because he was a man, a cool, hot, manly man and this kind did  not pout!

“Am not.”

“Are too!”

A low growl from the living room area made them stop their bickering instantly.

“Are you always this loud in the morning?” An adorably tousled God of Lies was standing in the doorway and if looks had the ability to kill, the kitchen’s inhabitants would be dust by now. But they couldn’t apparently, so Tony just beamed at him.

“Hey, Loki! Look! Rhodey made pancakes!”

Said cook gave their guest a wave, a polite smile and a wary look. “Hi.”

The raven haired graced Tony with a curve of his lips that had the potential to become a smile in the distant future and a nod before focusing on his friend. “Hello.” Was all he said before expectantly looking back at the engineer.

“Uhm…” The other raised an eyebrow and it made ‘click’ in the genius’ head. Right… manners and stuff. “Ah! Uh… Loki, this is James Rhodes, my best friend and roomie and Rhodey, this is Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief, Lies, Fire and Chaos.” He announced, pointing at the respective person.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Yeah… none of them looked like it but that probably had to do with the arrogant charm that was going for the god and his friend’s apparent fear to be stuck with another arrogant prick all day. Tony didn’t care, though. He just gestured to an empty chair so that his guest would sit down and rose to get more coffee.

“What do you want to drink?” he asked shortly looking back at Loki. “No coffee, if I actually recall that right…” Rhodey’s snort was immediately rewarded with a kick to his ankle.

“Water shall suffice. The concoction you Midgardians call juice is inswallowable.”

“Yeah, yeah, princess. Whatever you’ve got to tell yourself.” Tony chuckled and even though he didn’t see it, he suspected an eye roll as reply.

 

oOo 

 

Green and golden lights danced through the air, illuminating the nightly workshop with their glow and Tony could do nothing but stare in awe at the projections. Loki was in the middle of explaining some Einstein-Rosen-bridge creating machine called ‘Bifröst’ and even though the god was not called Silvertongue for nothing, he had started to create holographs to illustrate his words. It was mesmerizing…

“Anthony?”

The soothing voice pulled him out of his daze. He still was not sure, sometimes, if Loki was really back. It was like a weird dream and Tony hoped to never wake up again.“Huh?”

Lips curled into an amused smile. “Am I boring you?”

The addressed immediately shook his head. “No! I was just…” Yeah, what was he just? Admiring Loki’s hands weaving worlds out of light. He was such a sap. “I was just thinking of how a holographic projection could mimic your…” a bit embarrassed, he waved at the insides of the Bifröst currently illuminating the living room table.

“Well, good luck with that. Your tech is far more archaic than anticipated.” Loki chuckled and Tony swatted him lightly.   
“You’re such an ass!”

 

oOo

 

_ Okay, maybe a few drinks too many . _ The thought wobbled though Tony’s mind when he stumbled out of the latest bar’s toilet and back to Loki’s and his booth. But to his defense, the Trickster did not look so pristine anymore himself - which did not matter much because he was still damn hot and maybe even more scalding.

“Is that so?” Just now he caught the raven-haired’s eyes and saw him lift one wicked eyebrow in… yes! amusement, the fucker. But… oh oh! Had he said his thoughts out loud?

A chuckle sounded. “Yes you did.”

Damn braint-to-mouth filert! Hrm… but well in for a penny and all that jazz. In a worst case scenario he could still blame it on the alcohol. “You are extremely hot when your perfect hair is a bit tousled. Or a lot, actually. Like in the mornings when you’ve just gotten up, you know?” 

No reaction but no protest either. Huh. Only this unreadable look #3. Probably meant he could continue.

“And you look really handsome when you conjure your magic. Did you know that? Your eyes always sparkle so brightly and… and when something difficult doesn’t work the way you want it to and you think I’m not looking then you always have this small, incredibly beautiful smile on your lips and… yes! Yes, that one there! Only less surprised! Man, that’s so gorgeous!”

And before he could utter another word, those magnificent lips lay on his. The exact lips he had wanted to kiss for what felt like eternity. 

He could not say who had moved first but to be honest it did not matter one bit because oh my GOD - literally! Loki was kissing him and…

“Huh? Why did we stop?” Tony was befuddled and blinking.

“You forgot to breather.” This was definitely amusement in his voice. Tony blinked again.

“Okay I try to remember it this time.” he murmured and claimed those sinful lips once again.

 

oOo

 

Loki mostly had good days. He did not necessarily smile those times but Tony could feel it: it was like a vibe coming off the god and passing it onto Tony. Sometimes when he felt especially mischievous they went out and trolled some random people (Rhodey said he was always grateful when it were other people but it’s totally a farce). Sometimes though, Loki used his playful mood to tease the hell out of Tony. Not that he minded but - heaven! - when Loki teased, then he  teased !

And then, there were times, when Loki seeme off: Eyes dull and distant, body language closed up, silent.

Out loud, Tony called it manly brooding but he was worried. Not only was Loki a fucking deity but he also genuinely cared about the guy. It was hard to admit because he had, as Rhodey often told him, the emotional maturity of a goldfish but, yeah, he did. Quite a lot. 

On those days, Tony would make him tea and anxiously sit with him and cradle the god’s hand in his. Sometimes the Trickster would talk, give him rare stories about his family. It was obvious he missed them but for some reason Loki always refused to go when Tony proposed he should go visit his mother.

Then he would give him an unreadable look like Tony would vanish before he could come back and yeah, time was a bit different for guys like Loki, he got that, but it hurt his chest to see him miserable.

He thought those days were the worst.

 

oOo

 

“I have to go for a day or two.”

Tony looked up from where he walked next to Loki. It was a date night and they were walking the few blocks that lay between their favorite italian restaurant and the apartment. Tony had been pretty full and pretty content up until now.

It was nothing new for him to disappear for a few days like a cat but Tony had finally gotten him to warn im in advance. But Loki looked a bit different. Not the this-stuff-I-gotta-do-is-below-me-look he usually had going on.

“Okay. Will you go tonight?”

Loki nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Be back before next week, alright?” Tony blurted and felt the heat of embarrassment heat his cheeks. “I mean with my birthday and all. Not that’s a big deal but twenty-one is pretty rad age for humans.”

Loki just smirked at him, the bastard.

“Just… wanted to celebrate with you… you know?” he finally mumbled meekly and the god pulled him to a halt and right into his arms.

“I will be back in time. There are plans for your birthday…  _ big _ plans…” The mage’s voice right next to his ear dropped an octave and made Tony shiver in spite of the relatively warm temperatures.

“Uhhh…” he replied eloquently.

“Thought so.” But before the smirk could return, Tony used the opportunity of Loki’s lips so close to kiss him thoroughly.

The rest of the way they walked in silence and if Tony snuggled a bit closer, well the god did not call him out on it. Over the past months the brunette had gotten way to used to the other’s presence and it was not like he did not trust Loki - on the contrary - but he still had an unpleasant feeling.

They bid their farewell in the workshop with kisses and love bites.

“See you in a few days, then.”

“See you in a few days.”

 

Tony stared at the spot where Loki had vanished.

He would not see him again for a long, long time.


	4. Just a whisper

_ I hear the sound of a ticking of clocks _

_ Remember your face, and remember see where you are gone _

_ I hear the sound of the ticking of clocks _

_ Come back and look for me, look for me when I am lost _

“A Whisper” - Coldplay

 

Too late.

No.

It can’t be. Not again.

The fruit in his hand glittered despite the absence of light.

 

oOo

 

_ Much of a mortal’s time had passed when Loki finally managed to escape the all-seeing eyes. The spell this time was harder to maintain but he had already lost too much time to care. He had left a bridge in ruins the god highly doubted he could ever mend. _

_ Anthony. _

_ Invisible, he teleported to the nearest place: a hill in some sort of desert since his target was moving too fast for him to track properly. And yes, he could see a few vehicles not far away… _

_ The Trickster’s eyes widened in horror has he saw the missiles, saw the cars go up in flames, saw bodies flying. Again, tracing the only soul that ever mattered, he teleported once more – this time right to the side of his mortal. _

_ The plan had been easy: Grab Anthony, vanish and tend his bruises while he ranted at him for leaving. The Norns had never liked his plans very much and hence, another missile set off right at the moment when he got a hold of the man’s arm and dissolved into thin air. _

_ The pressure wave blasted him another few meters when he reached his destination about a mile away from the battlefield. But there was no body in his arms or next to him, only a piece of fabric where Anthony’s arm was supposed to be between his fingers. _

_ Failure. Such a simple task and he had failed. The Norns be damned! Should he survive or not? Wasn’t Anthony the oh so important hero –to-be? Why was he supposed to be torn to pieces then? He wanted to cry, to thrash, to wrangle someone – anyone but tongue and limbs seemed to fail him. This was becoming a theme now, huh? He thought bitterly _

_ Not used to numbness caused by shock and panic, usually faster than such sentiments, it him took a few moments to gather himself. When he finally came back, it was already too late. A group of heavily armed men were dragging the wounded body towards a car. They did not seem to want to harm him further and time was running out. _

_ Damn his cloaking spell, damn his flaws. He could not do anything whilst on Midgard and he had to do something quick. _

_ Without wasting any more time, he vanished from the ever-changing realm. _

 

oOo

 

In the dark cave, Loki had to bite his lip not to make a sound at the sight of his mortal. A metal device was now imbedded in his chest and several wires lead to a block that faintly emitted energy. Some kind battery perhaps… like the one he had seen at Stark Industries when he had watched Tony for a few hours hidden from his eyes. Only smaller.

A haggard man with glasses was seated next to him and dried the engineer’s sweaty brow with a filthy cloth.

“He! When will he wake up?” A man with a weapon barked as he came nearer.

The spectacled man sighed faintly and looked up. “I fear he will not even survive.”

“Make him!” The other bellowed unimpressed.

“I am no miracle healer and this is no proper hospital.”

“Make him survive, Yinsen, or else you will follow him.” As if all had been said, the guard left.

The man called Yinsen put aside the cloth to check his patient’s heart rate. “Oh, Mr. Stark. I do not know if I wish you better or worse…”

 

oOo 

 

After the patient mortal had given in to his own needs and fallen asleep in his own cot only a bit further away from where Anthony lay, the god emerged from the shadows. Silently he sat down next to the man that had aged so much in the time he had been absent from Midgard.

“Anthony… please, for once don’t let me be too late.” he murmured lowly as he gently stroked the other’s hair.

The apple in his other hand was impractical. The mortal was unconscious and thus not able to chew or even swallow the fruit. The alternative solution would cost some of the apple’s power but Loki hoped it would still be enough to save him – he could prolong his lifespan later when his plan succeeded. Always ‘when’. Never ‘if’.

The raven-haired summoned a syringe and a glass wide enough to fit the fruit which liquidated with a golden glow after a few mumbled words. Then, he sunk the needle into the liquid and drew enough to fill most of the vial. Waiting would not do the apple’s remaining powers any good and so Loki took hold of Anthony’s hand, turned it, pierced the needle’s tip into the tender skin and carefully injected the fluid. A faint glow followed the veins’ path and faded as quickly.

He healed the puncture and repeated the motion with the rest of the liquid and Tony’s other arm before he vanished the glass and the syringe again.

“Be well. Please be well.” he begged with a whisper and gently kissed the other man’s forehead. “I need you.”

There was no reaction to his deeds. Not a twitch of limbs or eyelids. Nothing. Loki gave a barely audible sigh. This was no fairy tale – his life never had been and he dreaded the day he would be sentenced to his irrevocable unhappy ever after. It did not mean he would not fight – no. His mother had raised him better than that and Anthony’s body was not cold yet. His soul was not lost. And the fates still found too much delight in torturing their little toys.

 

oOo 

 

For hours he sat like this. Thinking about the past, about the time they had had, the times he had missed and hoped fiercely there would be a future. Even if Tony would not forgive him for leaving back then – deliberate or not – Loki would try not to care as long as he was alive and well. And maybe, if the apple worked his magic well enough, the Trickster would perhaps have plenty more time to make it up to him.

Two motions pulled him out of his pondering. One was the blinking glow, the ring on his left index finger. His time was up. Too many people were looking for him by now and he had to get back to the palace before Odin got wind of his absence. Thor’s coronation was close and more people wished for his counsel. It was still a mystery to him how the Allfather deemed his brother worthy for Asgard’s throne when there was so much more to being a king than warfare…

The second motion was harder to see yet of so much more importance than the first: For a moment, Anthony’s eyes fluttered gently and when Loki pulled away his hand in surprise, his mouth twitched into an annoyed expression.

Relief flooded the God of Chaos. His mortal would get better. This was no mere hope anymore, this was a fact. With Wayland’s spirit within this fragile body, those captors would have to face obliteration soon. Loki was more than sure of this. This magnificent mortal would rise from this prison and become the blazing firestorm he had always been meant to be.

Overjoyed, he kissed the man’s forehead thrice.

“Be well, my Anthony, my phoenix.”

With those last words he vanished.


	5. Could it be worse?

_ Lights will guide you home _

_ And ignite your bones _

_ And I will try to fix you _

“Fix you” - Coldplay

 

Loki.

Tony looked at the screen in bafflement. Pepper next to him had become silent as well though for entirely different reasons but he would be awed as well if not for a certain Norse god with raven hair.

“I’m going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.” Her words barely registered and for the moment, all he could reply was a nod and an affirmative grunt.

“Tony? Everything alright?” The scrutinizing look made him barely meet her eyes and nod again.

“Yeah. Just got a lot of homework.” Even to him the chuckle sounded strained. “Have a safe flight.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and gently shoved her towards Phil Agent. She gave a nod but her eyes spoke volumes. There would be a hell of a talk when all this was over.

In another life they would have been lovers, the genius was sure. He already cherished her dearly but said god still occupied his thoughts more than he would dare to admit – not even to Rhodey and he knew the guy. It had become even worse after Afghanistan. Awareness was creeping into his mind. Knowledge of another life long gone. When such a thing happened in books and movies, there were always dreams involved but all he got was a fuck-ass weird feeling like an echo of a past that was not his, flashes of words and sentences and an eerie kind of muscle memory.

Not that he didn’t dream, he dreamt plenty and every night he wished he didn’t. Caves, water, Yinsen…

And now this. The icing on the cake. The apple-pie of his life because, yes, of course the universe always loved a good joke and had made fucking apples the most potent trigger for those flashes.

For a long time, Tony just stared at the Trickster, watching the few scenes repeat again and again. All those years… and now he came back to steal some magic cube with a whole lot of firework? Loki was more subtle than this. Something was off he just…

And there it was. The constant drumming of his fingers on the Arc Reactor paused instantly when he saw it.

“J? Give me a good look on Loki’s face. Yeah – just like that! Thank you.”

Dark rings shadowed the god’s eyes and he looked absolutely out of it but that was not it. Time changed people. It was painful to see but it was the truth Tony knew all too well. No, it was his eyes: Electric blue irises now looked at him with a manic gleam instead of mischievous emeralds.

“Oh, Loki… what has happened to you?” Tony sighed faintly and ran a hand through his already unruly hair. One quick scan over the provided data and he knew hell would go down. Everything in him was screaming to stop the god and the ever following echo in his head agreed: This was not entirely Loki and whatever, whoever it was, Tony had to know.

Plus: Their chat was about two decades overdue. It was high time…

 

oOo

 

For once, Tony Stark was not late for debriefing – or rather: the interrogation – which earned him the pointed look of another redhead (Seriously, how did they do that? Was it the hair color?) which he ignored in favor of watching the life feed. He had been silent about his relationship to Loki so far. He still needed more data and he knew they would make it harder for him if they knew he was compromised but the more they talked, the more it irritated him, especially Thor, whom he kept glancing at.

So this was Loki’s big brother. The Trickster had rarely talked about his family but Tony remembered the picture the other had painted back then pretty well: Odin, the lawful king, the successful warmonger, the strict father. Frigga, the wise queen, the brilliant sorceress, the loving mother. And Thor, the brave but foolish prince, the fierce warrior, the sun Loki had looked up to, revered.

But all care of the situation and all sympathy he had for the Thunderer flew out of the Helicarrier the moment he easily dismissed his brother without so much as batting an eyelash.

“Wow. If that’s what brotherly love feels like, I’m glad I’m an only child.” he scoffed from where he was deliberately sprawled on his seat next to Dr. Banner.

“Pay heed to what you speak.” Blondie frowned and folded his arms over his chest. “I love my brother dearly, but he will have to face Asgardian justice.”

“Yeah, I can see that: backing away from defending him as soon as his deeds run the risk of soiling your shiny armor.” He let out a humorless laugh as he rose from his chair too antsy not to pace a bit.

“Why are you defending him Stark?” This was Natalie’s, no, Natasha’s voice. “He killed eighty people already and brainwashed some more –“

“Because  _ that’s not him _ _._ ” He interjected with more fervor than anticipated. The genius did not need to turn around to see the rapidly narrowing eyes of the others but he did anyway if only to give Thor a pointed look.

“How do  _ you _ know that?” The red haired agent examined him with a cool gaze but he could almost feel the questions buzzing under her skin. “If Thor here is right, he is the Norse God of Mischief and Chaos. How can  you know how a god ought to behave?”

“Because I’m just.that.good.” The engineer enunciated every word and graced her with one of the more fury inducing smiles of his collection. As if there wasn’t anything more left to be said, he let his gaze wander once again until it finally landed on the bearded one of the two muscle-packed blond guys in the room. Thor looked a bit awed and a lot confused just like some realization just dawned on him but he wasn’t quite sure how and why and what. It was actually quite funny to see.

“ You are the mortal.”

“Congratulation, blondie, you’ve earned yourself a cookie. I am mortal. Well done.” His voice dripped of sarcasm but the Thunderer shook his head, looking more solemn than he had seen him so far.

“You were the little boy in the vast mansion… The one father forbade him to ever see again. And… and you were the reason he returned a decade later. Directly going against fathers orders... For the first time in his life my brother did not look for some gray area in the rules but simply waited until the king… until father went into Odinsleep.” After a small but meaningful silence he added: “Loki was severely punished afterwards. And more quiet from then on…”

Tony wanted to speak, wanted to say something, anything but there was a huge lump in his throat. So that was why he had left him twice, the reason behind his shadowed eyes when Loki had thought Tony wouldn’t see.

“Why wasn’t he allowed?” His voice sounded raspy and strained when he finally found the words to ask. ‘And why wasn’t he allowed to say goodbye’ remained unsaid. He would not break. Not in front of people he did not trust. Not ever, but there was something akin to understanding in the blonde’s eyes.

“The Norns predicted your fate and proclaimed it a fixed point in midgardian history. You were… are destined to save your realm even if it meant great sacrifice.”

“And what exactly has Loki got to do with this?”

“My brother… he did not share much but I think he did not want you to be a martyr.” There was an ‘again’ implied and a part of him seemed to understand. He faintly tasted apples.

They held each other’s gazes until the outside world reclaimed their awareness. 

“As heartwarming as this is, Loki still has agents under his control.” Natasha’s cool voice chimed in. “I don’t care if he is the best fuck you ever had or your one true love, Stark, we need to get them back before something worse can happen.”

“I’m gonna talk to him.”

“Are you sure? I mean you implied Loki was not the man you knew anymore.” This was the first time Rogers talked since he sat down after greeting.

Tony just shrugged. “But I still know him better than all of you…Except for Mr. L’Oréal Argard here.” He casually pointed at Thor before striding out of the room, head high and the air of a man who knows what he’s doing.

 

oOo 

 

“Oh, Thor! Still trying to sneak up on me? I guess you’ll never… learn.” Loki’s calm demeanor flickered for one brief moment when Tony stepped out of Thor’s shadow. Good. The Thunderer had refused to let him go alone, claiming his brother to be more dangerous than ever and even though the engineer had scoffed at this, he had quickly changed plans and now thanks to Blondie’s decoy, all his concentration was on the Trickster. “Well, well, well. If that isn’t Anthony.” The mage had obviously found his composure and sneered: “I thought you would come since you are one of the heroes now. But later… after whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a temptation, as a balm. And I would cooperate for old times’ sake.” His voice was like honey but his face screamed mockery.

Tony on the other hand kept a straight face courtesy to all the charity galas and business meetings. All he did was shrug nonchalantly. “’Balm’ is not the expression I would use.” A precisely calculated shark grin crept onto his lips. “And you weren’t  _ that _ good, honestly, to desire you again after all this time.” He took slow steps towards the glass, making a deliberative gesture with his hand. “I would give you 7 out of 10. Maybe 8 for the way you look in leather but that’s about it.”

“Oh, look at you.” The raven haired sneered. “All high and mighty now that Fury was desperate enough to ask for your help. You want to be a hero? You are so fixated on being more like the outdated idol of your childhood even though you are nothing but an angry little dog that barks but does not dare to bite.”

“Yeah, well anyone here  knows my bark but you, especially you, should know that I am certainly capable of biting when things are getting heated. And while we’re at the term ‘fixated’... still so utterly fixated on daddy’s attention?” Smug smile #11 was in place and apparently working because a frown was growing on the god’s forehead.

“At least I’m not running away from the shadow my father tried to cast upon me. You are pathetic,  Merchant of Death .”

“At least I’m not sitting in a glass cage waiting for backup.” Tony shot back and saw the frown increase. “Yeah, you are not stupid enough to let people catch you this easily, I give you that. But you are obviously stupid enough to think I would not see this. But what did I expect from someone who has been of age for a bunch of centuries and still has to ask daddy for permission to go pl-”

“You, a mortal, think you can beat me?” Loki’s voice started to sound strained as if holding back a growl. Gotcha!

“Well you are obviously not the mage I thought you would be – since when does some little glass stop you?” Tony resisted the urge to knock at the glass bowl to annoy the black and green goldfish but he raised an eyebrow at the god. The next thing he knew was that he was slammed into the wall behind him, said god’s hand on his neck.

“Do you still think I could not crush you right this instance? Mortal fool…” The Trickster finally growled lowly, a manic gleam in his twitching eyes. There was something fighting inside him, menacing the superior cool he had still emanated a few minutes prior. Loki was reacting to him – or at least a part of him buried deep inside was. All he had to do was coax it out, bring it to the surface and then reason with him. The genius was pretty much sure by now that the god was under some kind of spell. His lungs were screaming for air but he had to do it. So he flashed his cockiest grin.

“Try me.” He croaked which spiked the other’s anger even more but when those lither fingers attempted to pulverize his throat he started to tremble instead. And then, a thud and Loki was keeling over, eyes wide with shock.

Puzzled, Tony looked up to see Thor with his hammer, standing next to his brother’s inanimate body. “Okay, that’s one way of doing it. My way would have been… less damaging though.”

“He almost killed you.”

“Yes. With emphasis on  _ almost _ . He was fighting something. I could have gotten him to be reasonable.”

The Thunderer scoffed. “You would have died before anything would have gone through his thick skull.” Then, the blonde clapped his shoulder and ignoring Tony’s wince – because his arm was going to be one big bruise tomorrow, damn! – and continued with a smile. “But you are a brave man. That, I have to respect.”

“Ugh, thanks, Rambo.”

 

oOo

 

It did not take long until the team plus Fury made an appearance and shot Tony sceptical looks when they saw him kneel next to the unconscious god and sweep a stand of his tousled hair from his face. Only on the Black Widow’s lips he could see something like the shadow of a knowing smile but a movement by his knees prevented him from pondering on the connection between red hair and mind reading because his eyes immediately darted to the slowly waking raven-haired mage. 

“Hey…” he mumbled a bit softer than anticipated since he was still angry with this guy but - thank heavens - green eyes looked up to him and relief flooded the engineer.

The joy did not last for long because in this exact moment, a piercing alarm sounded through the halls, accompanied by blinking red light: An attack. Shit! He could already hear Fury bellow orders and...

“Destroy the staff.” the god’s croaking was quiet but he would always be able to sound this voice out of every turmoil. Tony nodded and without asking he repeated the demand loud enough for his not-quite-team to hear. Natasha and Steve were the first ones to react and immediately disappeared in the maze of tunnels pervading the Helicarrier.“

Meanwhile Loki made an attempt of sitting up while at the same time not letting Tony out of sight. The brunette huffed a resigned sigh and calmly helped him up even though the soundscape still made him twitchy. “I’m still mad at you.” he growled and got a dazed nod in reply. “And don’t you dare to piss off before we finally got our talk, Mr.-I-vanish-whenever-I-feel-like-it. You owe me at least this much.“I

A hoarse, self-deprecating laugh escaped the mage’s throat. “Aside from the fact the whole world is spinning right now, I do not intend on going anywhere, Anthony.”


	6. Epilogue

The destruction of the staff cut the connection to all those trapped minds and hearts Loki had collected in those past hours. 

Barton and the other agents returned to SHIELD and calm set on the helicarrier when the Tesseract resurfaced as well. The God of Chaos did not care for any of those things and thus teleported them somewhere less busy as soon as his powers allowed. Which was why they were now seated on the same but clearly older bench of the Pavillion - their first haven from decades ago.

It was difficult but in the end he told the whole story: of Wayland and of how he died, of his search, of the reasons why he had always disappeared without another word, of the apple and finally of his fall into the void. His tale was almost clinical, distanced enough to get it over with and he was grateful for Anthony’s silence. The whole time he had not looked at the mortal and rather watched some nearby birds and even now he did not dare to lift his gaze. He had always dreaded this last, final farewell and…

“Okay, to be absolutely clear about two things: First, you are an ass! Odin is a way bigger one, no question, but you could have smuggled some stupid note or something.” Loki wanted to retort something but the mortal silenced him immediately with a wave of his hand. “Second, I may be his incarnation or whatever but I am  not your oh-so-great Wayland so don’t put me into the same box. I’m an individual and if you tell me you have only been with me because of him then I will gladly break every finger on my right hand to hit your pretty face  _ hard .” _

At the word’s harshness the god looked up. “No!” he blurted before continuing a bit more quiet: “No, certainly not. I have watched out for this soul for centuries and yes, I admit to have tried to see him in you at first. But it did not work and when I realized, you were already far too deep under my skin to prevent myself from falling for you, Anthony.” He hated to plead - even if only with his eyes - but this was so much more important than pride. This was his last chance.

After a moment of silence and the searching gaze of brown eyes, the human huffed.

“Okay, but will you stay this time?”

“I can’t. Thor will search for me and bring me back to Asgard. I still have to face trial.”

“Fair enough, I will accompany you.”

“To Asgard?!”

“Yep.” He stared at Anthony incredulously. Had the mortal truly gone insane at last? “Well, I mean theoretically - no! practically - I’m the reincarnation of some demigod blacksmith so I’m kinda worthy to touch your holy soil by proxy and even if we are both to be incarcerated, at least we will have two spoons to shovel a way out of the dungeon. This was a metaphor, obviously, since spoons are highly impractical but you get my gis-”

The rest of the sentence was drowned by Loki’s lips on Anthony’s. Foolish, idiotic, brilliant human being! Even after all this he stood by his side and gave Loki the impression they could conquer realms if they were only side by side. Anthony did not seem opposed to the idea himself because he replied the kiss with fervor.

When they parted, both were grinning like the maniacs they were.

“Asgard?”

“Asgard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!  
> Feedback is alway very much welcome~  
> And if you would like to duscuss headcanons with me or just need an ear for all the marvel-feels: [meet me on tumblr](http://www.auripigmentum.tumblr.com)


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